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The Pro Se Problem

08 Feb

( From “How to Win in Court” Course )
Click or Call 866-LAW-EASY Toll Free!

Why Pro Se Litigants Have a Hard Time.

Many pro se people are winning.

Unfortunately, a great number who should be winning are losing … needlessly!

Going to court without a lawyer is a growing phenomenon. Whether it’s the high cost of legal fees or growing distrust of lawyers in general, the trend is for more people to fightwithout lawyers

The American Bar Association reports nearly 1/2 of all pro se folks believe lawyers care more about their own self-interest than their client’s rights.

If you go by calls and emails Jurisdictionary receives, there’s good reason for this! Lawyers who bail at the last minute. Lawyers who don’t know what they’re doing. And, worst of all, lawyers wishing to curry favor with judges, afraid to stand up to the buffalo in the black robe and demand their clients’ rights by making timely objections and threatening appeal.

60% of pro se people say they can’t afford a lawyer.

20% say they simply don’t want to spend the money.

Nearly ½ of all court proceedings in the U.S. involve at least one pro se party … and too many of them are losing all because they don’t yet know the “rules of the game” or how to play to win!

Good people who should be winning are losing needlessly simply because they were never taught what it takes to win!

Ever ask yourself, “Why?”

Ever wonder if there might be a sinister reason nothing about law is taught to our children in schools supported by our tax dollars?

Who benefits from your legal ignorance?

You have a Constitutional right to justice.

You have a Constitutional right to go to court and win pro se!

Your rights were paid for by the blood of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for you!

BUT, THE KEYS TO JUSTICE HAVE BEEN HIDDEN FROM YOU – UNTIL NOW!

Pro se people too often do not get justice.Learn from Jurisdictionary step-by-step

Why?

We at Jurisdictionary receive emails every day complaining there’s a judicial “conspiracy” against pro se litigants.

Let’s examine facts:

  1. Most pro se people know nothing about the official Rules of Evidence that control the judge and all parties and their lawyers.
  2. Most pro se people know nothing about the official Rules of Procedure that control the judge and all parties and their lawyers.
  3. Most pro se people have no idea what “due process” really is.
  4. Most pro se people can’t recognize the opposing lawyer’s dirty tricks.
  5. Most pro se people assume what “admissible evidence” is and don’t know what stuff isn’t.
  6. Most pro se people draft their pleadings and motions incorrectly – usually with far too many words!
  7. Most pro se people don’t know why it’s vital to write proposed orders for the judge to sign.
  8. Most pro se people don’t know why, when, or how to make effective objections in court.
  9. Most pro se people don’t understand what facts are critical to winning a case and what facts are of no consequence.
  10. Most pro se people muddy the legal waters with court-confusing insignificance.
  11. Most pro se people don’t know how to find and cite controlling appellate opinions in support of their motions.
  12. Most pro se people don’t arrange in advance of every proceeding to have a court stenographer present, so they can control the judge.
  13. Most pro se people waste valuable court time with non-essentials, fail to appreciate the needs of others who have other problems to bring before the court and, as a consequence, tend to make judges dread pro se cases and hate pro se people.

BUT!

Pro se people who know what I explain so simply in my affordable, official, 24-hour step-by-step Jurisdictionary “How to Win in Court” self-help course winning consistently and getting compliments from judges and even opposing lawyers.

It’s so easy to learn how to do things the right way!

If you and friends were playing a game of basketball, and some bystander wanted to play but didn’t know the rules … how would you feel when he or she kept fouling and arguing he or she has a right to do as he or she pleases because she doesn’t know the rules?

Put yourself in the judges’ robes!

Many years ago, after winning a motion, an older judge asked me to stay behind after the parties left. He took me aside and said simply: “I want you to know that the case before yours today was to protect a little girl who’s grandfather thinks it’s fun to extinguish cigars on her legs.” I knew what he wanted me to know, and I never forgot. Other people’s case are serious, too.

Pro se people who know what I explain in my affordable, official, 24-hour step-by-step Jurisdictionary “How to Win in Court” self-help course don’t waste the court’s time and get justice by knowing the rules and how to use them tactically to control the judge and opposing counsel.

Winners learn the rules and how to use them!

If you want to win, get my affordable, official, 24-hour step-by-step Jurisdictionary “How to Win in Court” self-help course.

www.Jurisdictionary.com

 

Affordable 24-hour Step-by-Step Self-Help Course Includes:

5-hour video CD simplifies the process of litigation
2 audio CDs present practical tactics and procedures
15 in-depth tutorials on a 4th CD lay out the basics
Free EasyGuide to the Rules of Court
Instant On-Line Access while CDs are in the Mail
Still Only $249 … plus $7.50 Priority Mail Shipping & Handling
Save legal fees! Control judges!
Defeat crooked lawyers!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

Ask anyone who has our course … “Jurisdictionary Works!”

Call Toll Free for details: 866-Law-Easy

 

How to Fight Fraud

19 Jul
Win with Jurisdictionary!Today’s Tips & Tactics will help all of you who are fighting banks, credit card companies, and anyone else who fraudulently claims you owe them money!
If you’re an honest person being sued by a dishonest creditor, today’s Tips & Tactics may save you a load of cash … if you do things the way you’ll learn in myofficial affordable 24-hour step-by step  Jurisdictionary self-help course!

There’s a reason for the phrase, “Put it in writing!”

Every jurisdiction we know of adopts a common law principle known as the “Statute of Frauds” so people wishing to sue you for any promise they say you made to them must offer written evidence of that promise …signed by you!

No writing, no lawsuit.

It could be a mortgage, promissory note, lease, credit card application, or any other promise they say you made.

In some states, if the promise was to perform some service that was to be performed in less than one year, or to pay less than $500 for some item like a lawn mower or bicycle, no writing is required … but if the promise was for more than a year or more than a small amount of money, the Statute of Frauds bars the lawsuitif there is no writing signed by you!

So, what’s the first thing you do when you’re sued for a promise you did not make?You demand to see the original writing that bears your signature!

How do you do that?

You use what’s called a Request for Production. The other side has a certain time period within which to comply. If they don’t produce (and many times they’ll put up some bogus objection) you file a Motion to Compel Production and set your motion for hearing. If you do this the way we teach in our 24-hour step-by-step Jurisdictionary self-help course, the judge will ORDER them to produce … and if they fail to obey the order their case will be dismissed!

You do not use a subpoena to get documents from the opposing party. You use a Request for Production, and you can use it to get other things as well, if they will likely lead to the discovery of admissible evidence.

Help Your Friends!
Forward this email and this link so they can get the Lawsuit Flowchart so your friends can see how easy it is to win.

I explain in the Jurisdictionary course how a client came to me after being sued by Sears for a credit card debt. He told me he never had a Sears card, so I served the plaintiff with a Request for Production demanding to see “every document signed by the defendant”. Sears had 30 days to respond.

On the 29th day I got a call from Sears’ lawyer saying they couldn’t find any documents signed by my client and asking for an extension of time.

I refused.

The case was dismissed.

Because of the present economic crisis, some judges make an effort to lean favorably toward creditors who come to court without sufficient evidence. If you don’t know what we teach in the Jurisdictionary course, you might find yourself on the short end of a long judgment against you for a debt you truly do not owe. It’s happening far too frequently.

Of course the practice of requiring the other side to prove their case (using Requests for Production and your other powerful evidence discovery tools) is a practice you cannot afford to ignore.

Proof is what lawsuits are all about.

Learn how to prove your position … and how to force the other side to prove theirs!

Losers believe in fables and get their legal education at the barbershop or expensive weekend seminars or websites run by people who never practiced law, never went to law school, and don’t know mud from sand about the rules of court or how to use them to prevent fraud.

Protect yourself from lawyers and judges!

It’s easy, once you understand “due process”.

Due process IS your most valuable right.

Due process is your most valuable right, because without the ability to win in court, the rest of your “rights” are just political rhetoric, promises with no power.

The Constitution of the United States promises you the protection of due process, but it doesn’t tell you what due process is or how to get it!

Jurisdictionary was created by a lawyer with more than 23 years of experience winning lawsuits!

Winners learn the rules of evidence, the rules of procedure, and how to use the rules to control corrupt judges and overcome crooked lawyers.

Learn how to protect yourself!

People who have our course tell us an average 8th grader can understand it all in a single weekend.

The complete 4-CD course is still only $249.

If you have a lawyer, you can save thousands in legal fees just by knowing what the lawyer should be doing to win.

If you don’t have a lawyer, you’ll know how to stop the opponent’s crooked tactics and get the judge on your side!

The key to winning is knowing how to use the rules!

  • The Rules of Evidence
  • The Rules of Procedure

That’s all there is to it.

The rules are actually simpler than the official rules of major league baseball …believe it or not!

To learn more, go to: www.Jurisdictionary.com

=========================================Our affordable 24-hour step-by-step course includes:

  • 5-hour video CD simplifies the process of litigation
  • 2 audio CDs present practical tactics and procedures
  • 15 in-depth tutorials on a 4th CD lay out the basics
  • Free EasyGuide to the Rules of Court
  • Instant On-Line Access while CDs are in the Mail
  • Still Only $249 … Includes Shipping & Handling

Save legal fees! Control judges!

Defeat crooked lawyers!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

Ask anyone who has our course. “Jurisdictionary Works!”

Call Toll Free for details: 866-Law-Easy

 

 

Summary Judgment – The Trap

14 Jul

 

Here’s how to avoid the summary judgment trap! 

Summary judgment can be a good thing – when it’s working for you!

It can mean the end of litigation in your favor, victory without a fight.

It can save months and even years of money-draining litigation sorrows.

But!

If your opponent files a motion for summary judgment against you, the result can be immediate defeat if you don’t apply what I teach you.

Banks and other powerful opponents do this routinely. They start with a laundry list of affidavits by which they wish the court to believe they’ve “proven” the facts of their case (inadmissible affidavits, by the way), and their lawyer points to the paperwork, files a motion for summary judgment, and insists the case has already been proven.

That is almost never the truth.

It’s a trap!

Here’s what you need to know!

Summary judgment is provided by Rule 56 Federal Rules of Civil Procedure and by state court rules in every state in our Republic. All the states follow the federal rule closely. There may be a few minor differences but, in general, the rule and the principles are identical.

Either party (plaintiff or defendant) may file the motion.

The motion must allege (and the moving party must ultimately prove) “there is no genuine issue as to any material fact and that the moving party is entitled to a judgment as a matter of law.”

Danger!

There is almost always at least some “genuine issue as to a material fact” that precludes summary judgment.

But!

If you don’t understand what is meant by “genuine issue” or “material fact”, you will lose … needlessly!

I’ve been an attorney nearly a quarter-century. I’ve read a h— of a lot of cases in those years, believe me. And, in all that reading I discovered that summary judgments are routinely set aside on appeal! That’s right. The majority of summary judgment orders are reversed on appeal.

Don’t believe me?

Go to any online legal research cite and enter the following search terms: precludes w/4 summary (i.e., search the case law in your appellate jurisdiction for the word “precludes” appearing within 4 words of “summary”).

Hit “Enter” and sit back and watch the cases fly onto your screen one-after-another. I just pulled up 151 of them here in Florida’s state appellate decisions.

Read a few dozen and you’ll see what I mean.

Don’t be trapped by summary judgment motions!

The key to winning (whether you’re the one defending or the one filing the motion) is the rule itself and preparation for appeal that’s made simple enough for an 8th grader to understand using my affordable Jurisdictionary step-by-step self-help course.

Read the rule … state or federal.

Also read the cases that explain the rule and how it is applied by the appellate courts to determine if summary judgment is proper or not.

The motion is evaluated on the following grounds: “the pleadings, depositions, answers to interrogatories, and admissions on file,together with affidavits, if any”.

So many of you don’t yet understand the power of your five (5) discovery tools and the importance of firing them off at the first opportunity in your case. By requests for admissions, requests for production, interrogatories, and a deposition or two along with a few subpoenas you can make it clear there are “genuine issues of material fact” in the record … precluding summary judgment.

The other fortress against summary judgment is built by drafting powerful pleadings (whether you’re the plaintiff or defendant). The pleadings (complaint and answer with affirmative defenses) are the first defense against losing on a summary judgment motion, because your pleadings raise the issues that you’re competing for. If you file weak pleadings (plaintiff or defendant) you offer your opponent an opportunity to charge ahead with summary judgment.

Weak pleadings followed by delayed discovery opens the door for your opponent to argue, “There are no genuine issues of material fact in the record,” and that’s all he needs to win.

My Jurisdictionary course shows you how to draft powerful pleadings in easy steps with explanations and examples of the forms most commonly used.

The courts are jammed with litigation. In most states, it can take months just to schedule a simple hearing. Most judges welcome opportunities to grant summary judgment, because it clears the case off the docket!

Beware! The judge wants to enter summary judgment. Not because you are pro se. Not because he hates you. Not because he plays golf with the lawyer on the other side. But, because he wants to clear his clogged calendar of pending cases that are backing up because of the glut of litigation that is delaying justice for good people!

You must prepare with lawsuit know-how or lose!

Solid pleadings create an impenetrable barrier to entry of summary judgment orders. They plainly state the genuine issues of material fact. If they are “verified” (as I teach in my affordable 24-hour, step-by-step Jurisdictionary self-help course they should always be) then you have built a protective wall around your case. The genuine issues of material fact are in your pleadings! Your pleadings cannot be changed by your opponent. You state your “genuine issues of material fact” in your complaint or answer and affirmative defenses, and protect yourself from summary judgment motions filed by the other side!

Prompt discovery provides an additional barrier against summary judgment rulings. When the other side cannot produce documents you’ve properly requested according to the rules, and those documents would tend to prove your case, then a “genuine issue of material fact” is established that precludes entry of summary judgment. The same can be said of requests for admissions, interrogatories, answers to deposition questions, and so forth.

And, of course, the importance of arranging in advance to have every proceeding recorded by an official court reporter and to arrange in advance for obtaining a certified transcript afterward to prove everything said or done in court cannot be overstressed! Like the Chinese Laundry operator used to say, “No ticky. No washy.” If you don’t arrange in advance for a certified transcript to be available to you after every in-court proceeding, you’ve telegraphed permission for the judge to do whatever the judge wishes to do … and that include knocking your case off his busy calendar by granting summary judgment, because without a court record the judge knows he cannot be reversed on appeal! No transcript. No appeal.

It breaks my heart to learn how many of you are beaten by summary judgment and other tactics by unscrupulous lawyers who don’t care about truth or justice or fairness or anything beyond a newer sports car and a bigger swimming pool in their backyard.

You don’t have to lose just because you’re pro se!

I receive emails every day from people who believe that lie … people who’d rather complain about their losses and blame anyone but their own unwillingness to learn. This is not the spirit that once made America great, my friends.

Learn Rule 56 (or the corresponding rule in your state court). Read a few dozen cases you can find online using the search terms given above.

Educate yourselves on something other than the insidious silver-bullet nonsense that is so prevalent on the internet these days.

People who say justice is impossible for pro se litigants are misinformed.

Justice most certainly is possible … for those who take my affordable 24-hour, step-by-step Jurisdictionary self-help course.

If you want to learn the rules at the law library and not pay for my course, that’s fine with me. But, please stop believing those who saypro se justice is impossible.

I will say this: Justice IS impossible for those who don’t yet know how to command the courts as I teach.

Finally, please know this about me and my success in court: I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I have never belonged to a country club. I didn’t win cases by being one of the “good old boys”. For most of my life I was common as dirt. I didn’t get my chance to go to law school until I was 39. That was 28 years ago. I won on a regular basis in spite of the odds against me because I believe in the rules of due process and, after 10 years of fumbling around in the dark, I finally learned how to use those rules effectively to control judges and get justice for my clients!

Until I was 42 years old and passed the bar exam, I had to work as hard or harder than any of you just to make ends meet! I was a ferry boat skipper. I ran fishing boats. I swung a hammer and pushed a saw and carried sheets of plywood and 2×4’s. I had a job pulling beers in a southern bar where pickled eggs, pigs feet, and boiled peanuts were the food du jour. I scraped barnacles off boat bottoms. I climbed tall radio towers to replace light bulbs. I once spent weeks inside unfinished sailboats grinding fiberglass in the Miami heat, enduring the itch of fiberglass dust mixed with sweat and occasional blood from the cuts of sharp edges of newly laid fiberglass material. At one point in my long career of unimaginables, I drove a Frosty root beer truck delivering cases of soda to country stores in the farmlands east of Tampa. I worked my way through undergraduate school at Florida State (because my family could not afford to send me to college) installing short wave radios in fire trucks and ambulances. I didn’t make enough to go to an ivy league school. For years I lived in rented one-room apartments and got about on a bicycle, because I couldn’t afford a car or gasoline. For nearly 9 years of my adult life I lived in small beat-up old sailboats, no air-conditioning, no refrigerator, no TV.

I know what most of you are going through!

I want to help you!

But, you need help yourselves and others!

I didn’t win most of my cases by sucking up to the good old boys! I won by learning how to use the rules, and you can learn, too!

We can win the war against corruption in this nation and be the example Adams and Paine and Washington intended us to be … but we must do it according to The Rules of Law and with due process, not foolish fables.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOSE!

Believing internet fables, even if they were true, isn’t going to help you or your family. Joining the crowd that can only complain and point fingers isn’t making things better for any of us.

The true patriots who are making things better for all of us (or, at least, trying their best to do so) are those who fight for victories over corruption using due process and the Rule of Law for which too many good men and women have already given their lives.

Let us honor those who gave their all for the sake of liberty and due process by renewing our pledge to the cause of Justice … overcoming the corruption in our courts by forcing judges to obey the rules too many have already died for!

Please don’t send me emails telling me the courts are corrupt. I know first-hand about corruption. That’s why I created Jurisdictionary in the first place. I know judges who are so corrupt they should be horse-whipped. I know lawyers who are so corrupt they don’t know how to stop lying, even when they aren’t in court.

But! I also know how to win … and you can, too!

I’d appreciate receiving some emails this week thanking me for Jurisdictionary instead of attacking me for not joining the milieu of madness that has little to offer beyond telling us what’s wrong. Most of us already know what’s wrong. What we need is for more of you to discover that the only way to deal with corruption is to overcome it!

Complaining about corruption alone does not stop it!

When corruption is in the courts, the way to win is to rub the judges’ noses in their very own rules!

Good judges will do what’s right.

BAd judges fear being reversed on appeal.

I didn’t win for a quarter-century by belonging to the “good old boys” network. I don’t belong to any fraternity or secret society. I hate the good old boys for a number of personal reasons I may write about in my autobiography someday, if anyone is interested. I hate all they stand for. I hate their abuse of people who don’t know how to fight back. I hate their cruelty. I hate their arrogance!

So I created Jurisdictionary so YOU can fight back!

The choice is yours, after all.

I cannot make you believe what I say.

You simply need to try my methods and see for yourself what the people who wrote those testimonials at the right have discovered. →

If you already have my course, urge EVERYONE to get the course and stop the courthouse corruption that is destroying our nation and putting your children’s future in peril of being utterly destroyed by the elitist agenda to rule us all by taking away our voice and our right to be heard in court on the public record!

If you don’t yet have my course, order it today and find out for yourself just how powerful you can be with just a little bit of practical lawsuit know-how!

Help us restore due process to our nation, please!

Learn how to use the rules to command justice!

Help us overcome the evil of this age!

Do it for your children!

Dr. Frederick David Graves, JD

Jurisdictionary

– – – – – – –

To win in court you must fight tooth-and-nail!

This isn’t a parlor game!

This is war!

The rules of due process are the People’s Power to control the machine we call government and get the redress for our grievances that millions died for!

My profession has hidden the rules of due process from you and from the rest of the public, so lawyers can charge exorbitant fees to do what any 8th grader can do after learning how with my affordable 24-hour, step-by-step Jurisdictionary self-help course.

Due process is your #1 right, because without it none of your other “rights” are enforceable in court!

But! To enforce your rights you need to use the rules!

The Constitution mentions due process. It doesn’t begin to explainwhat due process is or how to use it to control courts … and thereby to control judges, lawyers, giant banks, high-minded government officials, or even angry neighbors!

Can we Americans afford not to learn the rules?

Due process is the power of the people to control their government by controlling the courts!

Jurisdictionary believes it’s criminal for a government to refuse to teach its People how to use due process to enforce the People’s God-given rights! But, our leaders refuse to teach us the rules by which they control us!

Jurisdictionary also believes it’s criminal to promote legal people fables or to urge people to believe justice is impossible! Corruption is real. We know that. But those who know the rules and how to use them get justice for themselves in our courts, if their cause is just!

If you agree with us, please help us by telling others what we teach. If they don’t want to buy my course, that’s fine. Let them go to the law libraries and learn the official rules from the official books. But, PLEASE PROMOTE OUR VISION!

Until we Americans learn the RULES of due process, we cannot possibly hope to control those who hold the reins of government power … and at this critical hour we have very little time to take control of our government!

Some leaders in Congress are hell-bent to enforce laws on us that will totally remove our right to due process!

America needs to go to court!

Every last one of us simply must learn how to control the nonsense coming out of our courts today. Every last one of us must learn how to overcome crooked lawyers using the “official rules”, instead of internet mythology.

It isn’t hard to learn!

It really isn’t.

But, if we refuse to learn it will be US who’ll be to blame when America falls to the powerful elite we are allowing to rob us of our heritage and even our morality as a people.

Please help me promote due process knowledge!

Support Jurisdictionary!

Or, you can follow the advice of the internet nutcases who tell you to challenge the judge’s oath of office, or to claim your NAME IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS isn’t you, or to insist because there’s a fringe on the courtroom flag that the court is operating under admiralty law, or some other absolute nonsense that will end up getting you destroyedand giving even more power to the ruthless lawyers and judges who steal from the poor to give to the rich and rob your children and their future of the moral framework that makes human happiness possible!

If you don’t want lawyers and judges to rule the world, learn the official rules of due process that control them!

We are running out of options!

To learn more, visit my web site: Jurisdictionary.

– – – – – – –

You may find this hard to believe, however today’s law schools don’t teach law students what it takes to win! They don’t teach how to use the rules of evidence and rules of procedure to overcome crooked lawyers and control corrupt, arrogant, high-minded judges, because it isn’t “politically correct” to tell the truth about this “profession”. But, knowing how to control judges and overcome crooked lawyers is what it’s all about!

The typical lawyer will play every dirty trick in the book, but it’s not a judge’s job to interfere. The judge is not allowed to interfere. But! You can prevent the lawyer on the other side from getting away with his or her dirty tricks once you know how to force the judge to put a stop to it using the RULES!

There’s a reason why there are more critical jokes about lawyers than all the rest of the professions combined! You cannot afford to let lawyers side-step the rules and destroy your future, your finances, and your family!

Learn how to force the judge to enforce the rules!

Know the truth that law schools refuse to teach!

Learn how to use official court rules in an effective, tactical manner that demands compliance and obtains justice for you!

Jurisdictionary will show you how in just 24 hours!

Law schools teach 3 years of theory, but many professors never practiced law, and those who have any experience in court are teaching instead of doing. Ask yourself why. A good lawyer can make several times what a tenured law professor can pull down teaching. Do the math!

This is good news for you!

In reality, perhaps a majority of lawyers don’t have a clue what they’re doing … so, once you know what the 24-hour Jurisdictionary course teaches step-by-step, you’ll actually have an advantage … becauseyou’ll know what law schools refuse to teach!

Due process isn’t difficult at all, but it is an axe fight!

Sharpen your axe with Jurisdictionary!

Nothing else works!

Even if you have thousands to pay lawyers to go to court for you, Jurisdictionary can save you money by showing you what your lawyer should be doing to earn his or her pay.

If you can’t afford a lawyer (or don’t trust them) then this affordable 24-hour step-by-step course is just what you need to protect your God-given rights from abuse.

Learn the process of due process that lawyers don’t want you to know … and stand up for your rights effectively!

And, nobody makes it easier than Jurisdictionary!

Do what Jurisdictionary teaches, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you find the judge is on your side!

Dr. Frederick D. Graves, JD
Toll Free: 866-Law-Easy

 

 
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Should I ask my friend for advice about my divorce?

04 Mar

Should I change my hair? What car should I buy? What movie should I go see this weekend? What gym should I join? What should I do about this issue I’m having at work?

We seek advice from our friends and family to learn how to approach a new situation. Our goal is to go from knowing “nothing” to knowing “something.” And who better to prepare us for this than a group of people we already know and trust?

I know I have a group of friends I lean on for advice. But there are some situations when one needs to evaluate if our friends are the appropriate and qualified source of information about important life issues that vary from person to person, based on their own experience.

Take divorce for example. 

Why should I be careful when seeking a friend’s advice about divorce?

Author Susan Pease Gadoua wrote a great article on this subject titled, Beware When Seeking A Friend’s Advice About Divorce, for the Huffington Post. She says that you shouldn’t learn about divorce from someone like a friend, family member, neighbor, or co-worker, and this group of people alone. They should not be your only source for learning about everything that can happen as you move through the often-confusing legal process.

Gadoua cites three main reasons to support her claim:

  1. You are learning about divorce through someone who may not fully understand what happened or why.
  2. Your friend/acquaintance may not tell you about special circumstances in his case that may have influenced a particular outcome.
  3. Everything about you and your case is different from anyone else’s case or circumstances.

Everyone reaches out to his or her network to seek advice and learn from the experiences of their peers. That’s okay. But your peers’ lives and situations are completely different from what you are going through right now.

For example, if you are reading this, you are considering or have already decided to represent yourself and are looking for ways to “do-it-yourself” and learn how to do it right. You know that you need help and are looking to team up with someone to get the help you need, when you need it.

How can I learn more about divorce, if not from my friends?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask your friends for advice about what they went through with their divorce, but keep in mind that what they are telling you is different from your situation and there are details they may be omitting from the story that you’re unaware of.

So what can you do to learn more about the divorce and legal process? I recommend that you learn as much as you can, and books by accredited lawyers are a great resource. Here are a few to get you started:

Once you have educated yourself as much as you can, build the list of questions that those books have not answered and schedule an appointment with a professional who knows the intricacies of the law specific to the court system where you live.

We are here to help – you can sign up for the next free 30-minute Attorney Appointment, register for a Pro Se University Workshop, or look into other services that match what you’re looking for.

Just because you don’t know what you don’t know, doesn’t mean you have to go it alone.

 
 

What if my former spouse and I cannot decide on a parenting plan?

03 Feb

An important step in the divorce process is agreeing what to do with your children. This includes decisions about child custody, parenting time, child support, and who holds what responsibilities over the child or children in your life. In the past, there was one custodial parent and the other parent would receive visitation rights only. This is no longer the only option. Nowadays, one parent’s home may be where the children spend most of their time, but there is a clear trend toward more equal-time arrangements. Also, it is very common for parents to have equal decision-making authority regarding such matters as education, non-emergency health care, and religious training.

When the decisions about the parenting plan are complicated or when both parties are unable to reach a resolution, the court may intervene and require a parenting plan evaluation.

In a parenting plan evaluation, a specially-trained and licensed expert evaluates each parent and child to assist the court to make a decision. These experts often have advanced degrees and training regarding child development. The evaluator is an impartial party who is focused on one thing, and that is “the best interests of the children” involved.

What is the goal of a parenting evaluation?

It is key that the expert performing the evaluation be trained in how to remain impartial and keep the well being of the child a priority. Luckily, in Western Washington there is a special certificate program that trains health and law professionals in these skills. It is called the Parenting Evaluation Training Program (PETP) at the University of Washington. Graduates of this program have been specially trained to work effectively as evaluators and treatment personnel to protect the interests of children and help resolve high-conflict family law litigation.

A PETP graduate also may offer “Co-Parent Psychotherapy,” which is a form of counseling with the following goals:

  • Reduce parental conflict and enhance cooperation
  • Quickly resolve disputes between parents about the children
  • Assist child’s (children’s) coping with their parents’ conflict
  • Reduce post-divorce litigation
  • Enhance parenting skills

At its core, the parenting evaluation and co-parent psychotherapy can help you learn how to parent your child together with your former spouse and lead a more peaceful life after divorce. It is not a single-parent parenting class, but an opportunity for both parents to learn how to focus on the well being of their child.

You can find details on what to expect during the University of Washington Co-Parent Psychotherapy process here.

Where can I find a qualified parenting evaluation professional to help me with this issue?

If you need a parenting evaluation or want to start Co-Parenting Psychotherapy, the list of PETP Graduates is a great resource.

If you have any questions about how a parenting evaluation can help move your family law issue forward, we can help. You can sign up for a free 30-minute Attorney Appointment on the web.  We schedule these appointments on one Tuesday each month.  You can also contact our office and speak to Xenia at 877-776-7310 to schedule a free consultation.

We look forward to working with you.

Source: Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings (http://www.apa.org/practice/guidelines/child-custody.pdf ) by American Psychological Association
Related: Co-Parent Psychotherapy (http://depts.washington.edu/petp/coparent.html )

 

How can social media affect my divorce?

11 Jan

Are you going through a separation or a divorce and maintain a profile on Facebook? You need to be careful what you post.

According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML):

An overwhelming 81% of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Anything you post online is public. Even if you have tight privacy settings, you never know who’s looking at your profile and who will share the information. 

What are attorneys or your estranged spouse looking for? They are trying to check your emotional state and see if you post anything that contradicts a statement you previously made. For example, if you go on record that you are having financial troubles and then post pictures from a recent vacation or a big purchase you just made, it will not paint the same picture and has the potential to hurt your case.

What can I do to protect myself on Facebook?

Even if you are not “friends” with your estranged spouse on Facebook, any status updates, pictures, links, and comments you leave on the things your friends post may show up on your estranged spouse’s newsfeed through mutual friends. Don’t risk it.

Check you privacy settings on Facebook. Here are two articles to walk you through how to check your privacy settings:

  1. Time to Audit Your Facebook Privacy Settings, Here’s How on Fast Company
  2. 10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know on All Facebook: The Unofficial Facebook Resource

Be careful what you say. Think before you post and comment on anything—be it a status update, a photo or a comment on another friend’s post. Do not post anything related to your case, your estranged spouse, or if you’re starting to date other people. If you have any doubts, you probably shouldn’t push the “share” button.

Lock down your account. You can temporarily deactivate your Facebook account during your litigation or simply not post anything until it’s over. This will prevent you from sharing something that could potentially be used against you.

You should also be aware of what you post on Twitter, especially since all public tweets posted to Twitter are archived by the Library of Congress.

If you have questions about the role social media can play in your case, contact our office and we can help you figure out the best strategy.