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Posts Tagged ‘child’

How can I expect my life to change after divorce?

11 Mar

People know to prepare themselves emotionally when going through the divorce process, but they often fail to prepare for adjusting to life afterward. Too often, they assume that life on the other side will be easier and they vastly underestimate the new challenges they will inevitably face. To help make things less stressful for you later on, take some time to think about and understand some of the common misconceptions surrounding divorce.

What are some common misconceptions surrounding divorce?

One of the biggest misconceptions concerns money. Both women and men tend to believe that their finances will not change significantly after a divorce. They don’t take the time to sit down together and figure out how the income that previously supported one household will be able to support two in the future. Instead, each party expects to sustain their current lifestyle while the other makes concessions. Typically, women believe they will receive more maintenance than the court is likely to award, while men believe that they shouldn’t have to pay alimony and that everything should be divided equally, even if their spouse hasn’t worked for many years. In most cases, both parties will end up living off of a lower income post-divorce.

You may be able avoid frustration and disappointment down the road by setting up a budget during the divorce, either together or on your own. At the very least, a budget will help you to anticipate upcoming lifestyle adjustments. In fact, you may want to start cutting expenses now if you can, or think about ways to eventually increase your income.

Other common misconceptions about divorce involve children. Parenting after a divorce can be complicated, but it helps to be flexible and open-minded. Many women are used to being the primary caregiver and find it difficult to let go of the high level of control they once had over their children’s lives and schedules. Depending on your custody arrangement, your children may spend time between two homes, which means increased time away from you. This can be painful at first, but remember that your children have two parents and that it is essential to their well-being and development that they spend time with both of them.

Men struggle with their own parenting challenges after divorce and are frequently surprised by how difficult it is to raise a child on their own. They are also often caught off guard by the amount of child support they are required to pay.

It is important to note that the amount of child support one pays is related to the amount of time each parent spends with a child. The parent who has the child most of the time will receive child support from the other parent. If the child spends significant time with both parents, then the paying parent may get a credit against the support payment to account for this extra time. Also, if primary parenting of multiple children is split between the parents, then child support is based on this “split-custody” arrangement. In these situations, we use a formula to calculate which parent will pay support and in what amount. This formula was developed by Division I of the Washington Court of Appeals in the case of In re Marriage of Arvey, 77 Wn.App. 817, 894 P.2d 1346 (Wash.App. Div. 1 1995).

It is also important to remember that the issues of child support and parenting are treated separately by the court. This means that one parent cannot withhold visitation from the other parent because he or she has failed to pay child support. Instead, the parent who is not receiving his or her court-ordered support must bring legal action to enforce the order to pay.  But in the meantime, the nonpaying parent is still entitled to enforce the parenting plan. This is because to do otherwise  would be unfair to the child, who has a right to spend time with both parents.

How can I clear up any misconceptions I may have about life after divorce?

You can learn about the realities of divorce by reading through the Pro Se University blog archives or you can sign up for the next free 30-minute Attorney Appointment. We are here to help.

 
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Posted in divorce, if child support is not paid, life changes from divorce, misconceptions of divorce

 

What if my former spouse and I cannot decide on a parenting plan?

03 Feb

An important step in the divorce process is agreeing what to do with your children. This includes decisions about child custody, parenting time, child support, and who holds what responsibilities over the child or children in your life. In the past, there was one custodial parent and the other parent would receive visitation rights only. This is no longer the only option. Nowadays, one parent’s home may be where the children spend most of their time, but there is a clear trend toward more equal-time arrangements. Also, it is very common for parents to have equal decision-making authority regarding such matters as education, non-emergency health care, and religious training.

When the decisions about the parenting plan are complicated or when both parties are unable to reach a resolution, the court may intervene and require a parenting plan evaluation.

In a parenting plan evaluation, a specially-trained and licensed expert evaluates each parent and child to assist the court to make a decision. These experts often have advanced degrees and training regarding child development. The evaluator is an impartial party who is focused on one thing, and that is “the best interests of the children” involved.

What is the goal of a parenting evaluation?

It is key that the expert performing the evaluation be trained in how to remain impartial and keep the well being of the child a priority. Luckily, in Western Washington there is a special certificate program that trains health and law professionals in these skills. It is called the Parenting Evaluation Training Program (PETP) at the University of Washington. Graduates of this program have been specially trained to work effectively as evaluators and treatment personnel to protect the interests of children and help resolve high-conflict family law litigation.

A PETP graduate also may offer “Co-Parent Psychotherapy,” which is a form of counseling with the following goals:

  • Reduce parental conflict and enhance cooperation
  • Quickly resolve disputes between parents about the children
  • Assist child’s (children’s) coping with their parents’ conflict
  • Reduce post-divorce litigation
  • Enhance parenting skills

At its core, the parenting evaluation and co-parent psychotherapy can help you learn how to parent your child together with your former spouse and lead a more peaceful life after divorce. It is not a single-parent parenting class, but an opportunity for both parents to learn how to focus on the well being of their child.

You can find details on what to expect during the University of Washington Co-Parent Psychotherapy process here.

Where can I find a qualified parenting evaluation professional to help me with this issue?

If you need a parenting evaluation or want to start Co-Parenting Psychotherapy, the list of PETP Graduates is a great resource.

If you have any questions about how a parenting evaluation can help move your family law issue forward, we can help. You can sign up for a free 30-minute Attorney Appointment on the web.  We schedule these appointments on one Tuesday each month.  You can also contact our office and speak to Xenia at 877-776-7310 to schedule a free consultation.

We look forward to working with you.

Source: Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings (http://www.apa.org/practice/guidelines/child-custody.pdf ) by American Psychological Association
Related: Co-Parent Psychotherapy (http://depts.washington.edu/petp/coparent.html )

 
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Posted in divorce, resources, undefined

 

Always Consider the Cost of Raising a Child

16 Jan

This is an important post because people who pay child support or may be ordered to pay child support often think they are being asked to pay too much. In reality, the non-custodial parent who pays support rarely pays nearly as much to raise that child as the custodial parent.

There are tons of costs associated with raising a child that often are not thought or. That child will likely need more living space, daycare, you’ll have to buy more groceries,on  clothing more than others as they grow up so fast,if you are looking for comfortable clothing or accessories check the alpaca line for winter.

Now remember the toys, bigger car, education expenses, recreation expenses, health care, toys and added utility expenses. I’m sure there are other expenses not listed here.

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) surveys the average costs. You can find the 2009 report here. You can see that the costs vary depending on the income of the household, the number of children, and the age of the child/children. A single-parent one child family usually pays about $9,000-12,000 annually to raise a child. So, if for example, you are ordered to pay $300/mo., you would only be paying $3,600 towards that amount. As a side note, most people who actually have kids say that the USDA figures are far too low.

So if you have a support order you think needs modified, I would encourage you to use this USDA Cost of Raising a Child Calculator to determine if the amount really is unfair. Also if you are in a divorce or custody battle and you think you would save money by winning custody, think again. You most likely would actually save money by paying child support. Haven’t had kids yet? Use the calculator to make sure you can afford them before you do.

 
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Posted in Divorce/Dissolution, Family Law

 

Modifying Your Child Support Order

15 Jan

Often, I get questions from people who feel their child support order needs to be adjusted. Usually, it is the non-custodial parent who feels they are paying too much. Occasionally, it is the custodial parent who feels the non-custodial parent isn’t paying his/her share.

In Ohio, support modifications may be requested either through the court (Domestic Relations or Juvenile) that made the order or the Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) in the county enforcing the order. Under most circumstances, you should start with the CSEA. It is usually faster and more conducive to self representation. Furthermore, courts often get peeved when you come to them without first exhausting your administrative remedies. You can take your matter up with the court if you disagree with the agency’s ruling.

For the court or CSEA to modify your support order, they must find that there has been a “change in circumstance” to justify it. To request a modification, at least one of the following must apply (see Ohio Administrative Code § 5101:12-60-05.1):

  • At least 36 months has past since the order was issued or last modified; or if 36 months have not passed, any of the following…
  • A minimum support order ($50/mo.) can be reviewed at any time;
  • One or both parents has become unemployed through no fault of his/her own (this means you can’t quit your job and expect your order to be modified) for at least 30 consecutive days;
  • One or both parents has become unemployed due to mass layoff or plant closing;
  • One or both parents has become permanently disabled (be sure to have medical proof and social security information);
  • Institutionalization or incarceration (see caveat * below);
  • One party has experienced a 30% decrease in income through no fault of his/her own or a 30% increase in income;
  • The child subject of the order has been emancipated (support remains in effect until child turns 18, or up to the 19th birthday if the child is still in school-you are still responsible for back child support).

If any of these apply, calculate the new amount of support. Here is a free resource that should give you a good idea of what the amount will be (assuming your figures are accurate of course). If the change is to your benefit, file the modification application. Contact the CSEA or visit their website to obtain the application.

When filing an application to modify support, always do it ASAP. Support modifications are not issued retroactively. That means the modification will only be effective as of the date of the application and not a day before.

* Note: some jurisdictions will not modify due to incarceration. These jurisdictions reason that it was your own fault for committing the crime. Therefore, it is a voluntary loss of income.

Please share your experiences with child support modifications.

 
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Posted in Family Law

 

Why it Pays (or at least doesn’t cost as much) to Reach an Agreement to Your Family Law Dispute

01 Oct

Court costs, attorney fees, accounting fees, property evaluations, added stress, emotional difficulty for your children… the list goes on and on. There’s  no question about it, family law disputes (including divorce, child custody, child support, etc.) are expensive and demoralizing. To limit these costs, you will want to reach a settlement as soon as practicable.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not advocate taking a “raw deal.” You should not just give up all your property, child custody, to your ex for the sake of reaching an easy, cheap resolution. You need to make sure any deal is fair to you. What I am saying is that your goal in any family law dispute should be to reach a settlement that that is fair to all parties (especially children) involved.

I realize a settlement is easier said than done. You may have unrealistic expectations of what the outcome should be. You have an emotional attachment to the situation, and sometimes you just don’t think your ex deserves anything.

You need to prioritize what you want in a settlement, try to view your case from an outsider’s perspective, figure what you are willing to give up, know the law, and know what the court is likely to rule in your case should you fail to reach an agreement. If you hire a lawyer (and it is advisable to do so in contested situations), make sure to hire one with a reputation for achieving fair settlements for his or her clients. Failure to reach an agreement means the court will decide for you. Rulings in family law cases tend to be unpredictable and you will have no say once the court makes its decision. This is tantamount to going to eat at a restaurant and letting your server decide what you want to eat. You might like it, you might not, but it almost certainly won’t be what you would have wanted.

Do you agree or disagree? Have any personal experiences you’d like to share? Your comments are appreciated. Also, please feel free to send a confidential email to FreeForLaw.com from the Contact Us Link above. Your input will influence future discussion topics.

 
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Posted in Family Law

 

Daily Mail at it AGAIN!

27 Aug

NUTRITION SCIENCE

Healthy Dietary Patterns

As nutrient-dense vegetables, potatoes fit into several healthy dietary patterns including the Healthy U.S.-Style eating pattern, U.S. Healthy Mediterranean-Style eating pattern, U.S. Healthy Vegetarian eating pattern and the Dietary Approach to Stop Hypertension (DASH) diet. Check these phenq reviews.

Potatoes provide a great-tasting, affordable nutrient package that can help people improve their overall nutrient intake and diet quality. Research shows that potatoes make significant contributions of key shortfall nutrients to diets of children, adolescents, and adults.

  • A collection of studies, supported by APRE and published in Advances in Nutrition identified a substantial body of evidence that demonstrates how the inclusion of white vegetables, such as potatoes, can increase intake of shortfall nutrients as well as help increase overall vegetable consumption (1). The open-access supplement can be viewed in entirety here.
  • An APRE-supported analysis examined the intake and nutrient contribution of total vegetables, white potatoes and French fries in Americans aged 2 and older, based on national dietary intake survey data from NHANES 2009-2010. Individuals who consumed white potatoes had significantly higher total vegetable and potassium intakes than did non-consumers. In addition, the proportion of potassium and dietary fiber contributed by white potatoes was higher than the proportion they contributed to total energy. Among white potato consumers aged 14-18 years, white potatoes provided 23 percent of dietary fiber and 20 percent of potassium but only 11 percent of total energy in the diet (2). These are the latest alpilean reviews.
  • A NHANES analysis examining the contribution of potatoes to nutrient intakes among children and adolescents found that potatoes contribute 10 percent of daily intake of dietary fiber, vitamin B6, and potassium and 5 percent or more of thiamin, niacin, vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin K, phosphorus, magnesium and copper (3).

For more information, read:

  • Enjoy Your Food…Just Eat Less
  • Meeting Your MyPlate Goals on a Budget
  • Mini-Guide: Meeting Your MyPlate Goals on a Budget
  • Eat and Enjoy a Variety of Fruits and Vegetables on MyPlate
  • Make a Perfect Plate with Potatoes. This is how metabo flex works.
  • Press release: Don’t judge the nutrient content of white vegetables by color alone

REFERENCES

  1. White vegetables: a forgotten source of nutrients. Adv Nutr. 2013; 4: 318S-326S, 2013.
  2. Storey ML, Anderson PA. Contributions of white vegetables to nutrient intake: NHANES 2009- 2010. Adv Nutr. 2013;4:335S-44S.
  3. Freedman MR, Keast DR. White potatoes, including French fries, contribute shortfall nutrients to children’s and adolescents’ diets. Nutr Res. 2011;31:270–7.
 
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Posted in COMMENTARY, Links to Media, My Daily Mail complaint

 
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