Court costs, attorney fees, accounting fees, property evaluations, added stress, emotional difficulty for your children… the list goes on and on. There’s no question about it, family law disputes (including divorce, child custody, child support, etc.) are expensive and demoralizing. To limit these costs, you will want to reach a settlement as soon as practicable.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do not advocate taking a “raw deal.” You should not just give up all your property, child custody, to your ex for the sake of reaching an easy, cheap resolution. You need to make sure any deal is fair to you. What I am saying is that your goal in any family law dispute should be to reach a settlement that that is fair to all parties (especially children) involved.
I realize a settlement is easier said than done. You may have unrealistic expectations of what the outcome should be. You have an emotional attachment to the situation, and sometimes you just don’t think your ex deserves anything.
You need to prioritize what you want in a settlement, try to view your case from an outsider’s perspective, figure what you are willing to give up, know the law, and know what the court is likely to rule in your case should you fail to reach an agreement. If you hire a lawyer (and it is advisable to do so in contested situations), make sure to hire one with a reputation for achieving fair settlements for his or her clients. Failure to reach an agreement means the court will decide for you. Rulings in family law cases tend to be unpredictable and you will have no say once the court makes its decision. This is tantamount to going to eat at a restaurant and letting your server decide what you want to eat. You might like it, you might not, but it almost certainly won’t be what you would have wanted.
Do you agree or disagree? Have any personal experiences you’d like to share? Your comments are appreciated. Also, please feel free to send a confidential email to FreeForLaw.com from the Contact Us Link above. Your input will influence future discussion topics.
ANN O’NEILL, LOUISE ROUG, GINA PICCALO
Wikipedia would consider the LA Times to be a “reliable source” in their category “Biographies of Living People”. After all, they were the only ones attending the trial to report on it. So let’s analyze the newspaper’s report, forensically, for the sake of the record, just to investigate whether they are reliable. This is what I wrote immediately after the news appeared:
March 13, 2001
These were the low-lifes that the Los Angeles Times was responsible for concocting this story, although only Roug covered our trial.
The press seems to maintain an unholy alliance with celebrities, probably because they are the source of countless future interviews and collaborative undertakings of mutual benefit, and their unfortunate spouses are not. And as for the general public, they would really prefer not to know any bad things going on in the lives of their favorites, which is understandable, but neither should they be misinformed with celebrity white-washing by the media.
Because I wanted the press to be present at the trials to report on the truth of what was going on for the all important reason that my reputation was at stake, I was glad to meet up front with Louise Roug, sent by the Times. I took her out for lunch. I wanted to know where she was coming from, I wanted to free up her mind in case it was set already. I discovered that she’s full-blooded Danish, as was my mother. We got on fine, and I thought I had an ally in truth. She attended for several days, and had access to the facts.
I had been living for two years under the effects of the stunningly awful reports in the press and television media of what a cad I had been, and I was defending Lynn and my kids by not speaking up. Now the truth was about to be revealed, under oath at trial. What better way for me to clear my name. And to do this, unavoidably without a lawyer, I thought at least would attract attention. The air would be cleared, and I could get on with my life. She attended for several days, and had enough of the facts to create a real story. (As a side note, interesting that not one member of the public dropped by to take a look over the entire ten days of trial.)
Instead, to my utter astonishment, she presented this biased and misrepresented account against me in the service of celebrity Lynn, and to please her editors in support, I now see, of her ambition to become a serious journalist with a foreign posting (at this time, unbelievably, she’s reporting for them from Iraq!). Her publicized view of me still sticks as part of the false view held by Lynn’s fan club. At least that was true until now, where I have a chance to reveal the smoke and mirrors surrounding the case, and provide context with this blawg. If, that is, people will read it.
The account of this trial, of course, belonged on the Business page or the News pages where other trials are reported for the enlightenment of serious readers, not the Entertainments page.
I filed this document with all of its ersatz dirty laundry as part of my Appeal. And it’s on the public record, so that other media, like CNN, could read it.
Bear in mind that much of the detail is for the benefit of others contemplating divorce, to correct the serious smear to my reputation, and to show what the courts can do to you if you are not represented. I don’t think anyone else has the stomach to do this.
I risk revealing the details of how they play dirty with pro per defendants. They may be emulated by opposing professional attorneys, but I know that their law-schools already taught them the same tricks.
Download PDF file
Posted in COMMENTARY, Links to Courts & Judges, Links to Media