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Posts Tagged ‘lawyer jokes’

Control Corrupt Courts!

30 Jul

Instead of writing a long Tips & Tactics newsletter this week, I thought I’d show you how to control corrupt courts!

You won’t believe me, but most lawyers (and nearly all law school professors) don’t have a clue what it takes to win in the real world.

That’s right!

Law school teaches all sorts of things … but not how to control judges nor how to overcome scheming tricks of crooked lawyers!

Law school is not the real world. Most professors never practiced law. Moreover, to keep their jobs they must be too politically correct to teach law students how some judges are biased or corrupt and how to overcome the scheming tricks of crooked lawyers.

What law students learn in law school is legal theory and the fundamentals required to pass the Bar Exam … not much practical knowledge!

Theory doesn’t win lawsuits.

You need to win your lawsuit!

Learn from Jurisdictionary step-by-stepYou need to know what’s important, what’s not, and how to focus your energy where it belongs: getting court orders!

Most lawyers never learn this.

All the posturing, big words, flamboyant behavior, lapel-thumbing, courtroom strutting accomplishes nothing!

The only thing that matters is the ink flowing from a judge’s pen when he signs court orders.

You must know how to control corrupt judges and overcome crooked lawyers. You must be able to re-direct the judge’s bias and the lawyers’ sneaky tricks!

There’s a reason why lawyer jokes proliferate.

There’s a reason why so many complain about high-minded, high-handed judges who ignore the law.

Political correctness prevents justice!

Winning lawsuits is a brutal, no-holds-barred, axe fight!

Jurisdictionary is your axe!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

Affordable 24-hour Step-by-Step Self-Help Course Includes:

5-hour video CD simplifies the process of litigation
2 audio CDs present practical tactics and procedures
15 in-depth tutorials on a 4th CD lay out the basics
Free EasyGuide to the Rules of Court
Instant On-Line Access while CDs are in the Mail
Still Only $249 … plus $7.50 Priority Mail Shipping & Handling
Save legal fees! Control judges!
Defeat crooked lawyers!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

Ask anyone who has our course … “Jurisdictionary Works!”

Call Toll Free for details: 866-Law-Easy

 

Control Corrupt Courts!

16 Mar

( From “How to Win in Court” Course )
Click or Call 866-LAW-EASY Toll Free!

Instead of writing a long Tips & Tactics newsletter this week, I thought I’d show you how to control corrupt courts!

You won’t believe me, but most lawyers (and nearly all law school professors) don’t have a clue what it takes to win in the real world.

That’s right!

Law school teaches all sorts of things … but not how to control judges nor how to overcome scheming tricks of crooked lawyers!

Law school is not the real world. Most professors never practiced law. Moreover, to keep their jobs they must be too politically correct to teach law students how some judges are biased or corrupt and how to overcome the scheming tricks of crooked lawyers.

What law students learn in law school is legal theory and the fundamentals required to pass the Bar Exam … not much practical knowledge!

Theory doesn’t win lawsuits.

You need to win your lawsuit!

You need to know what’s important, what’s not, and how to focus your energy where it belongs: getting court orders!

Most lawyers never learn this.

All the posturing, big words, flamboyant behavior, lapel-thumbing, courtroom strutting accomplishes nothing!

The only thing that matters is the ink flowing from a judge’s pen when he signs court orders.

You must know how to control corrupt judges and overcome crooked lawyers. You must be able to re-direct the judge’s bias and the lawyers’ sneaky tricks!

There’s a reason why lawyer jokes proliferate.

There’s a reason why so many complain about high-minded, high-handed judges who ignore the law.

Political correctness prevents justice!

Winning lawsuits is a brutal, no-holds-barred, axe fight!

Jurisdictionary is your axe!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

 

 

Affordable 24-hour Step-by-Step Self-Help Course Includes:

5-hour video CD simplifies the process of litigation
2 audio CDs present practical tactics and procedures
15 in-depth tutorials on a 4th CD lay out the basics
Free EasyGuide to the Rules of Court
Instant On-Line Access while CDs are in the Mail
Still Only $249 … plus $7.50 Priority Mail Shipping & Handling
Save legal fees! Control judges!
Defeat crooked lawyers!

www.Jurisdictionary.com

Ask anyone who has our course … “Jurisdictionary Works!”

Call Toll Free for details: 866-Law-Easy

 

Lawyer Jokes

24 Aug

Looking at the lighter side of law, some short, clean, lawyer jokes.
Good natured and all in fun, you’ll find lots of legal help here…

 
No Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

 

Best Lawyer Jokes

23 Aug

Best Lawyer jokes around, clean lawyer jokes, funny legal videos, wierd laws,
Looking at the lighter side of law, Good natured and all in fun, legal self help comes in many forms.

 
No Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

 

Trusting Lawyers Loses Lawsuits !

25 May

 

Win with Jurisdictionary!If you’re like most people, you don’t trust lawyers … I don’t either! 

You’re smart!

If you’re really smart, you won’t trust judges, either!

Many judges are excellent people who try their best to give everyone the benefit of law and follow the rules of court.

A few are horrible tyrants or downright crooks.

YOU DARE NOT TRUST JUDGES OR LAWYERS!

You MUST go into every lawsuit doubting the honesty of the judge.

You must be on guard against the shady ethics of the lawyer on the other side.

And (if you’re lucky enough to be able to afford one) it’s a good idea to keep a close watch on your own lawyer!

The multitude of lawyer jokes ought to give you a clue!

Q: What’s 5,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start!

Is there another profession with anywhere near as many criticallynegative jokes about its members? Of course not!

There must be a reason, and YOU must beware!

Court battles are an axe-fight! Don’t forget it!

The other side’s lawyer is going to play every dirty trick the judge allows.

Count on it.

Plan ahead for it.

Be prepared to combat it and PROTECT YOURSELF!

Then there’s your own lawyer (if you’re rich enough to pay $300/hour or more to have one on your side). Dare you trust your own lawyer without first learning what it takes to win in court? 

Will your lawyer do what must be done to win?

If you cannot pay your lawyer for all the hours needed to get evidence, prepare for hearings, research the law, draft effective motions, etcetera, who is going to get the job done?

Will your lawyer even tell you what could have been done, what shouldhave been done … once you lose?

What if your lawyer gets up on the wrong side of bed?

What if your lawyer is afraid to stand up to the judge and threaten appeal by objecting to the judge’s rulings?

You’d be amazed how many are afraid of judges!

Where does this leave YOU?

Legal malpractice and courtroom corruption are on the rise these days, yet most people have no idea how to fight back and protect themselves. Most people have no idea what it takes to win in court …or how easy it is once you learn how!

When a judge lets a lawyer on the other side get away with smoke-and-mirrors games, YOU LOSE!

When a judge won’t let you make objections to preserve your record for appeal, YOU LOSE!

When your own lawyer (if you have one) bails at the last minute when crunch time comes or wimps out when it’s necessary to hold the judge accountable to the rules, if YOU don’t know what to do, YOU LOSE!

Most disturbing of all, if you lose for these reasons YOU CANNOT APPEAL YOUR LOSS!

The only way to protect yourself is to learn!

Know what it takes to win in court!

Use the official Jurisdictionary self-help course!

Jurisdictionary shows you what needs to be done. You’ll know how pleadings and motions should be drafted. You’ll know what must be done to force the other side to produce evidence. You’ll know the objections that must be made when the opposition tries to trick you with legalese or smoke-and-mirrors tactics. You’ll know how to keep the judge in line!

Without the easy-to-learn official Jurisdictionary self-help course, you’re at the mercy of the lawyer on the other side, at the mercy of the judge and, if you have a lawyer. you’re at the mercy of your very own lawyer!

If you don’t have Jurisdictionary, you lose!

Don’t be another sad lawsuit story!

Let Jurisdictionary show you how easy it is to win!

Then, if you must hire a lawyer you’ll know what should be done. You won’t pay for incompetence or laziness.

And, if you can’t afford a lawyer, you’ll know how to force the court to protect your rights and the rights of those you love.

It’s easy with our affordable 24-hour course.

Learn how to control the court — step-by-step.

Visit the Jurisdictionary to learn more!

Forward this to your friends. They’ll thank you for it.

Winners know how to control the court!

That’s how you win!

You have a remedy at law … if you know how to use it.

If you don’t yet know what we teach, you cannot imagine how much fun it is to force people to do what’s right by using the Jurisdictionary methods for winnning lawsuits.

You have POWER TO CONTROL THE COURT once you know the methods we explain so easily an 8th grader can learn and understand in just 24 hours!

All 4 CDs plus instant internet access as soon as you order, still only $249 (plus 7.50 for Priority Mail delivery).

What do you have to lose?

Losers believe in fables and get their legal education at the barbershop or expensive weekend seminars or websites run by people who never practiced law, never went to law school, and don’t know mud from sand about the Rules of Court or how to use those rules to control the court.

Yet, that IS what it takes to win!

Jurisdictionary was created by a lawyer with more than 23 years of real-time experience winning lawsuits!

Protect yourself!

If you have a lawyer, you’ll save thousands in legal fees just by knowing what your lawyer should be doing to win.

If you don’t have a lawyer, you’ll maximize the odds by knowing how to stop the opponent’s crooked tactics and how to get and keep the judge on your side!

To learn more, go to: www.Jurisdictionary.com

==================================

Let Jurisdictionary show you how to stop the games!

Let Jurisdictionary give you power to enforce your rights!

Let Jurisdictionary enlighten you to the tools and weapons every one of you possess to force our courts to impose the rules on your opponents!

================================

People have been using Jurisdictionary for years to win in court. They learn the fundamentals and how to apply them wisely and effectively,and you can, too!

Click HERE or on the flowchart image below to see the Lawsuit Process at-a-glance.Win-Lose Flowchart

Yes!

It really IS this simple!

What good are “rights”, if you don’t know how to use the rules correctly to enforceyour rights?

Why remain in legal darkness?

It really IS this simple!

There’s a lot to learn, but you can learn it in 24 hours, and none of it is too difficult for the average 8th grader.

The Rules are fair.

The judge may not be fair.

The lawyer on the other side probably won’t be fair!

But, the Rules are fair!

YOU can learn how to use the rules to win!

It is NOT DIFFICULT!

Click HERE or click on the flowchart above to see the fundamentals at-a-glance.

It’s sad that so many today fear and hate the very system of Law & Order that is the only power that is able to protect them from villainy at the hands of their fellow man and the tyranny of despotic political power.

This chart shows how fundamentally easy it is!

Please be careful who you trust to teach you about the law and how our courts work! There are all kinds of folks who hold themselves out as “legal gurus” you. There is a “movement” in our nation that’s lost faith in America. The leaders of this “movement” see only evil and none of the good. You can detect them by their anger and the “nifty tricks” they say you can use to win in court to get around the rules.

The fact is, learning the Rules is very, very easy!

THE RULES ARE FAIR TO THOSE WHO KNOW THEM!

The Rules of Court are what guarantee your rights! If you cannotenforce your rights, you might as well not have any … because a “right” you cannot enforce is not worth much!

Even the Constitution itself is a set of “rules”.

The Rules of Court go hand-in-hand and are your power to secure Justice and enforce your rights!

Nothing else works!

Try writing letters to the governor. Doesn’t work.

Write letters to the Bar. Doesn’t work.

Write letters to your congressman. Doesn’t work.

Carry signs in the street. Doesn’t work.

Send emails to all your friends. Doesn’t work.

Learn how to use the Rules of Evidence and Rules of Procedure in Court … THEY WORK FAIRLY FOR YOU IF YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK THEM!

Most of you have taken a sacred oath before Almighty God to uphold the Constitution of the United States.

Yet, very, very few of you have any idea how to enforce the rights our Constitution promises or any of the rights promised to you by your state constitutions, statutes, or common law?

Why?

Because my profession doesn’t want you to know!

Make you angry?

I hope so!

Let’s tell everyone: Now is the time to learn!

Are you facing one of these battles?

  • Foreclosure
  • Custody
  • Child Support
  • Taxation Issues
  • Property Rights
  • Criminal Charges
  • Contract Disputes
  • Slander
  • Landlord-Tenant Problems
  • Etcetera …….

Short of grabbing your squirrel gun and a box of ammo, the only way you can get your “redress of grievances” is through using our court system wisely.

But! Notice the word, “wisely”.

You must understand what this week’s FREE flowchart explains clearly.

So, click HERE and study the flowchart now.

And, be certain to visit Jurisdictionary to learn more about theofficial 24-hour, step-by-step lawsuit self-help course that everyone is talking about these days!

Help Your Friends!
Forward this email and this link to the
Lawsuit Flowchart
so your friends can see how easy it is to win.

I faithfully attended 3 years of classes in law school and read every page of a stack of lawbooks 20-feet high, but in all those years the very simple common-sense secrets of the simple process that lets any person of average intelligence Win in Court was never explained.

Jurisdictionary reveals the secrets lawyers don’t want you to know!

The process is simple, and YOU can do it!

If you have a lawyer, he may be unwilling to do it. He may be afraid to do it.

But, if you want to win, someone must do it!

I realize these Tips & Tactics newsletters urge you to order the self-help course. If you already have the official Jurisdictionary course, perhaps these newsletters will encourage you to learn more.

The things you don’t yet know are the very things your opponent will use to destroy your case!

Lawsuits are an axe fight.

Jurisdictionary is your axe!